too comfortable.

Each day here I am reminded of how much I have.


I step out of our concrete-walled house, and exit through our walled compound safely secured by a guard and I see it.

All.around.me.

I see our neighbors sitting outside their one-roomed homes made of metal scraps.

I see it through the tattered, old, simplistic clothing that covers them and their children. Bras are for the rich.

I see it in Margaret’s 3-roomed orphanage with maybe 10 beds for 17 children without a mom or dad.

I see it in their diet. Vegetables are for the wealthy, referred to as “rich food.”

I see it in the lack of water.

I see it in the men (and children) who pound rock into tiny pieces all day for money.

I see it in adverts along the road for HIV treatment

I see it in the children on the streets selling stuff to earn money instead of being in school earning an education.

I see it in eyes of the beggars that surround my car everywhere I go.

I see it in our guards who don’t take a single day off because they can’t afford to.

I saw it in our friend who almost died of malaria.


And just this last week I was beginning to feel sorry for myself. We have been without running water for a week now. I’ve had bucket showers the past few days for the first time. And let me tell you, it’s a little tricky. I can't get over the stench of the toilet from not being able to flush it. At times it can be inconvenient to filter water or boil it. I’ve been longing to go for a run by myself somewhere, anywhere. Or to get back into a regular exercise routine in a gym. I’ve been craving a vegetable salad with broccoli and craisins, and all the various things I love in a salad. Or even fruit (other than pineapple and overripe bananas). Just the other day I was aching for home and all the things I get to do… eat… go… the conveniences.

Then, all I have to do is step out of our house and I am ashamed. I have become too comfortable. I have been so blessed to live such a cozy life (of which I'm SO thankful for). Where unlimited, clean water is for granted. Where we can choose our diet. Like whether we want (or need) organic and vegetarian. Meat is a treat here! Inside I too often want to complain at how hot it is when the majority don’t even have electricity (let alone a/c). I get a little perturbed when the internet is too slow, or even down.

Yet I get to eat three meals a day, sleep on a matress atop a bed, mostly have a proper shower, and drink water whenever I am thirsty. Tonight I have a light bulb to aid my reading or guide my steps to the bathroom, air-conditioning to keep me comfortable, and the internet to stay current with friends on Facebook (or blog) :). They have a small flame. For cooking, for light…for everything.

It’s just that in my excess; my convenient and comfortable lifestyle has brought me discontentment when stripped bare.

I have... Too much. I live... Too easy. I am... Too comfortable.


May you count your many blessings with me this holiday season!