I just recently read these two books. they are unlike any books i've ever read really. both are spiritual journeys written from the heart. no sheepskin. simply honest and real. i like that. i'm left pondering thoughts on life and spirituality that i haven't given much thought to before. i like that too. its challenged me and broadened my perspective. plus the author of Blue Like Jazz is from my hometown of Portland, Oregon and mentions places i am well familiar with. that's pretty cool. so, if you're looking for a good book...

in charge

well, i have officially survived one week as a charge nurse--a total of seven shifts to date!! here are my thoughts so far... i like the new challenge and the added responsibility, a need i didn't realize was there. my responsibilities include allocating the patient assignments for the night shift and the following day shift. this can be tricky as i try to consider each nurses' experience and comfort level with the different types of patients we have, particularly pediatrics. this is taking the most time as i am still learning. i also update the database such as the patient census and unit report sheet, round with the physician, make calls to the physician when necessary, and be available as a resource for the nurses under my charge.  its more administrative than my experience back home as a charge nurse. it is a lot more evening shifts than i prefer too, being that Tim works during the day and has the evenings off. but overall, i think i am going to like it. 

one thing i've especially enjoyed these last couple shifts is my interaction with the little children on the ward. as an adult nurse, i am not typically given pediatric patients to care for, simply because of my lack of expertise and experience with them and my comfort level. but as a charge nurse i get to interact with them without the responsibility of nursing them!! the best end of the deal in my opinion!! :)  like when i was sitting at my little desk on the ward, this sweet 9-year old boy came up and sat right next to me. i set him up with a coloring book and crayons. he had a great time. and i of course enjoyed his company! the next day i was in charge of a different ward, which this last week has happened to be completely full of children all under the age of 3!! as i'm sitting at my desk working on my "paperwork," this little two-year old boy comes over to me, holding his arms up and crawling up onto my lap (now that is something i just can't refuse, no matter how much work i have to get done!) this particular boy, i learned, was here with his mom and twin sister. his twin sister was the patient, not him. she had been sick since birth, so mom devoted most of her time and attention caring for his sister. consequently, he has become this little boy who is starved for time, affection, and touch. he constantly wanted to climb on my lap, be held, or played with. don't get me wrong, his mom adores him. she's just had her hands full not only with two, but one very sick child. they were discharged today. now that his sister is getting better, i hope that with time his needs will be better met.

needless to say, i think i'm going to like this charge nurse role :)

solace

I read these words in Isaiah the other night and was encouraged by God's promise. We've had some tough weeks of staffing and high patient loads and acuity recently. So, I read these words again, only this time to the nurses under my charge this week. We may have some bad, rough, flat-out lousy days. But, God did not make a mistake in bringing any one of us here. He chose each of us. He chose me. Sometimes its draining; sometimes we feel inadequate; sometimes its frustrating... but when the day is over, I am standing because my God holds me high...

But you, O Israel my servant________, whom I have chosen. 

I took you from the ends of the earth,

 from its farthest corners I called you (to Benin, Africa).

I said "You are my servant."

I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am your God. 

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:8-10

In the OR!

A few weeks ago we both took the opportunity to observe a surgery in the OR (one of the perks as crew members). Tim got to see a contracture release of the hand with graft repair from a burn injury, and an eye surgery (cataract repair). Hannah observed a vesico-vaginal fistula repair. We got to see our talented surgeons do some pretty neat things!! And Tim didn't even faint (some of the OR staff had bets that he would) :)!!

    Tim looks good in scrubs :)

Me & my friend Allison who's 

scrubbed in and being careful 

to keep sterile.

I wouldn't make a good African woman :)...

the local gas station!

only in Africa...

Piggy back ride, anyone?!!!

Portonovo

1 Landrover + 8 Friends + 4 Hours = 

Loads of fun in Portonovo!

We visited The Arts & Culture museum, learning more about Benin and its culture-- from political figures, to way of life, to slavery.  Afterwards we enjoyed lunch at an outdoor restaurant--the typical lunch is chicken or fish with plantains or fries. And the cola was really cheap--the large cola Tim is holding was only $0.80!!

6 years ago...

June 13, 2003 

Tim came home from war!! 

 I celebrate this day every year!

sent with love

THANKS GRANDMA!! 

What a treat to get mail and find this! :) This was an extra-special surprise... when I lived with my Grandma she would fill her candy dish with hershey kisses for me. Ever since I moved away, on my visits home to Grandma I always find the candy dish refilled for me :) And she knows my favorite kind too--chocolate almond!! 

Love you Grandma!

THANKS MARIE!!

AND we were tickled to receive this surprise too!!  ... a little bit of home!!  It is a beautiful & unique painting of our favorite mountain range--central Oregon's own Cascade Mountains (snow-capped and all)! It even gives the elevation of each too. We love it, Marie!! So very thoughtful!! We have it hanging on our entry way wall so we see it every time we enter and leave the cabin. 

Thank you!!

prayer request

What;  Today was the big screening day for those that couldn't make the initial screening back in February when we arrived. 

The Problem:  By this time we've already booked the previous available surgery slots from walk-ins---those that have shown up at the ship and got screened on the dock over the last few months. We can't take anymore!!  Even worse is that they were unable to advertise or publicize the cancel of today's screening in time because of, well, this is Africa... 

The Result:  Over 100 people waited over night at the place where the screening was to take place.  And 1,000 people showed up!!  They had to turn every one of them away!! 

Arggg!!  I can't imagine what they are feeling!! Many traveled far for hours, and some days, from way up north... To come so far with high hopes and expectation that they will get the surgery that they so desperately need and want... to be let down again, turned away again, to wait once again. 

Prayer teams were there-- crew praying for and with individuals.

Please pray for all the people that went away empty... that they may somehow know that its not because of them that they were turned away or that God turned His back on them. May they somehow feel God's love and presence in a specific way.

This tiny 3-month old baby girl is a new baby after her surgery this week!! The 4 pound tumor had been growing from her jaw since birth. It weighed almost her total body weight!! She spent a couple days in ICU post-op and is now on the ward recovering very well--just a little swelling on her cheek!! I am reminded of some lines from a worship song that the patients here enjoy singing on the wards:

Great is the Lord
Great things He has done

Greater things He will do.

Unto the Lord be the glory...

A time to die

Last week was a tough week for the nursing staff.

We lost two patients. 

One was a 5 month old baby that came to the ship a few months ago malnourished. He was born with a cleft lip and palate and not able to suck enough milk. Many of our staff nursed him to weight gain by spoon feeding him formula every day on a feeding program here for many weeks. Once he gained enough weight he had his cleft lip repaired before returning home! His mother (only 17 yrs old) was set-up for follow-up care by a local hospital near her village. We don't know all the details. We know that his mom stopped going to the hospital to pick-up feedings. Days later the social worker went by the house to check-up on the child because she hadn't seen him for days. She was told the baby had died.  He was starved to death.  The social worker expressed the underlying belief in the village that children born with deformities such as this child, are viewed as children of the devil...

The second patient was a diabetic woman who came to the ship with an infected leg that later became septic. We amputated her leg.  But because of her fragile medical state and diabetes she was too sick to recover.  She required one-to-one care post-op.  The worst part was that her family had disowned her and finally came to the ship to see her when they were told by her niece to come pick-up the body (even though she hadn't died yet)!!  I had the privilege of caring for her and showing her love in her last couple days of life...

People don't come here to die.

There is a lot we don't understand. We live in a broken and fallen world.  God's ways are not ours.  But I rest in the comfort that His sovereignty brings, believing that my God knows exactly what He is doing and that He hurts alongside His children.

You are forever safe in His loving arms now, little one. 

Never again will you know hunger or abandonment...

my little brown baby

One of the best things about the ward is that when Momma comes for surgery, her baby(s) comes too.  

And that means us nurses get to hold them!  

Yesterday was that kind of day for me.  My empty arms were soon full of beauty, sweetness, and cuteness wrapped around this little brown bundle.  

African children are simply one of God's most beautiful creations (in my humble opinion:) ) ... their deep chocolate brown eyes with their mocha to dark chocolate skin that is incredibly smooth. I mustn't forget their fuzzy hair too :) And this precious little boy's tiny bottom lip stuck out in the sweetest way. 

As I held him I told him about Mercy Ships and the healing work that God was doing right now in his Momma's life (she was in the OR having surgery). I told him all about Jesus and that someday I hoped he would come to know him in a real and personal way.  I know I spoke English; foreign words to him... 

He fell asleep in my arms. 

I was reluctant to hand him over an hour later, but my nursing duties were waiting.  

For privacy purposes, we don't take pictures on the wards. So, I thought I'd post a photo of one of the cleft-lip babies we did surgery earlier on. Look at those sweet eyes!! ... Beautiful, huh?!!